⚔️THE SACRED FEMININE ART OF REJECTION


A common topic when approaching sexual magic is the idea of the succubus, a feminine force which can drain a male aspirant’s energy when he submits to her sexual advances. What is not talked about as often is the experience for a women of the male equivalent, the incubus. Women around the world have shared dreams throughout history in which they are put into a kind of sexual stupor, sometimes for hours, during an experience with an incubus. This form of union has even been said to be able to result in the birth of a child, called a Cambion, which was what Merlin in the Arthurian Mythos was said to be. Ida Craddock in her book “Heavenly Bridegrooms” describes her own sexual experiences with a disembodied entity called “Soph”. Although some women may find this notion sexually exciting, for many it is fear-inducing. As the Lunar body of sexual magic, women are able to (physically or spiritually) creatively replicate the impression of the strongest Solar force they have encountered or opened themselves to. Traditional sources on Tantra have been so certain of feminine effectiveness in the Lunar magic of replication & reflection, that they even consider a woman to be crowned with whatever spiritual grade her consort has attained. The same initiations he has received or realizations he’s had, begin to blossom within her naturally. This is why for sexual magic in particular, a woman is spiritually benefitted when she is fierce regarding who is allowed access to her.

This is a mechanism that is paralleled in the animals in nature who have developed intricate and mind-blowing ways of rejecting the male energy that she doesn’t want to have impress on her (as she doesn’t want to “replicate” him through birthing his offspring). It is eye-opening to read about sexual coercion in animals— the vast ways males of a species try to override over time female preferences through things like harassment. For example, female water striders evolved to protect themselves from the males by having a shield over the genitalia. In response, male water striders began signaling to predators by creating ripples on the water. The female would become so frightened that she allows the male to mate with her just so that he’ll stop signaling predators. It’s interesting the way that as males of a species keep evolving in behavior or form to overcome female resistance, females of a species keep evolving to better resist, and in this way over time the differences between the genders (sexual dimorphism) of an evolving species get more exaggerated. The males get more aggressive, the females get better at rejection, and the polarity ramps up higher and higher. This awareness can also help one to understand why sexual urges are so seemingly contradictory to normal civilized thinking— in many ways uncomfortable to admit— and why eroticism is so riddled in both genders with certain levels of aggression. Why does sexual fantasy (even neuroscientifically) seem to have more in common with violence than love?

However, we as civilized beings are largely divided from nature in regards to the mate we choose, but we do have these animalistic tendencies hugely lurking below our conscious minds. With the primal instinct towards rejection so engrained, but the civilized learned nature dampening this greatly, many women give in to the advances of men that do not fulfill them, transform them, or stir them. If the man she opened to has no spiritual interests or understandings, of course there is a tendency for women desiring more complexity & energetic intricacy to begin to feel dangerously drawn to things like situations with cult leaders. She wants to become a vehicle for something spiritually gratifying; she wants to receive developed energy with which she can use her Lunar creative power to carve into something beautiful.

Women are a gift, like Lakshmi who rules over Venus, which is the planet of women in general and which also rules over vehicles. Rohini, “the favorite wife”, is symbolized by a cart. Like an extravagant vehicle, beautiful women can be hard to maintain and please (due to being desired by many) but they give the man who rides them an aura of prestige impossible to compare to anything else. In the Tarot it is said that the Princesses are the thrones that a man needs in order to manifest and realize his energy through; without her, he cannot do so. Lakshmi, ruling external beauty and all women, is the “goal” of what a man is trying to achieve, being the most difficult Goddess from which to obtain a full blessing. Women are always a gift and are always a limited resource, but often times give their Shakti to a man who is in no way worthy of her and suffer the consequences of energetic stagnation, boredom, and susceptibility to abuse from men like cult leaders… or men who “stir” their sexual desires for something strong, but do so in physically or emotionally abusive ways. Just as females in nature learn and evolve mechanisms to ward off or resist being impregnated by an inferior male, a would-be female adept needs to learn over time to strongly link to her inner resistance & tendencies towards rejection, to be fiercely certain of her value, and completely aware of her role as nature’s gatekeeper. She is essentially deciding what spirits get to incarnate onto Earth, as well as which energies are rewarded and are able to be ground & manifest in a range of ways. There is nothing more valuable in the Universe than the human body, the vessel for consciousness that the mother grants.

"Hari, Hara, and Brahma – the gods of creation, maintenance, and destruction – all originate in the yoni." - Yoni Tantra.

Tantric texts often emphasize the male aspirant needing to strive to become purified, to learn to be able to view the feminine as pure and divine, and to direct his energy in interaction with it. His work to gain control over Maya is best reflected in his interactions with it personified through women. With women in these texts however, restrictions are rarely described— there’s no insistence on her needing to purify her perspective, or to strive, or to suffer; rather, what is emphasized is that she needs only to accept her own divinity and relax into it. As the magnetic one, in ritual she is worshipped, she receives. Man reaches his pinnacle when he is offering, giving, & nourishing. Therefore, his final & highest task is action. Her highest & final task is acceptance: of herself, and of her function to be a conduit for the Goddess to receive offerings from those who she wishes to open to.

Especially in many parts of our world that are making more strides than ever to empower women, to make sure they have autonomy in regards to sexual choice, and are not at the abuse of men’s physical power, it is a time when many women have more ability than ever to decide to whom she gives this garland of victory. For many, it is (fortunately) less of an outward battle now, but a battle within herself.

The final nakshatra in the vimshottari system triggering Venus is Purva Ashada, which has a winnowing basket as its symbol. This emphasizes the feminine role as separating the wheat from the chaff, protecting and respecting her body as the Throne for power, as a manifestation of the Goddess on earth, and knowing that if in the presence of a man she feels unsatisfied, uncomfortable, stagnant, disillusioned, it is the Goddess speaking to her. If in the presence of a man she experiences transformation and feels enthralled, safe, devotional, & churned, it is the Goddess blessing a man through her. Through following the desires of the Goddess within, she never empowers with growth lower impressions than her divine nature, and therefore only becomes more & more elevated, vibrant, creatively flourishing, & inspired. She is the gift of all gifts; unapologetically viewing & knowing herself in that way protects the world and makes it a better place.


From a Hymn to Inanna:

“When she leaned back against the apple tree, her vulva was wondrous to behold. Rejoicing at her wondrous vulva, the young woman Inanna applauded herself.”


For many more of my writings and recommendations on tapping into & honoring your sacred feminine power, join my 1-year female path course.

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